Texas @ ISU The Aftermath

Texas-37 at Iowa State- 14 The Aftermath AKA So much hope yet so much concern

If you couldn’t find the game, it was on the same channel that produces “The League.” If you just said “What’s the League?” or “I haven’t watched that show yet” then I would suggest that you immediately locate your remote and DVR that mess. All “Thank You’s” that would be sent my way should be diverted to Ben as he turned me on to the show.
Rather than go through the pithy summary, let’s dive right in because this is later than I would like.

The Offense
While I continue to applaud (vigorously, I might add) our creative playcalling, I simply can’t stomach a dedication to a pounding running game that doesn’t produce. That being said, I recognize games in which we struggle to develop yards between the tackles will pay dividends in the future. A lot to learn from this game. Let’s start where it counted (or didn’t) depending on your take:

Offensive Line
David Snow had his best game this season. It’s humorous that after the first two weeks, we were looking at Snow being replaced. I’d call him an enigma but I reserve that word for literal definition. For instance, the Jackalope, and David Snow is no Jackalope. His pulls from the guard position sprung several big runs for both Monroe and Brown and his slide to Center for an injured Dom Espinosa illustrates our ability to move guys around on the line. Haven’t seen that in a while. At least not with success.

Everyone else gets a C-/D grade from me. I recognize that ISU is a physical team. Their D-line is basically BYU without black ties and bicycles or Samoan surnames, but getting knocked back on 58% (yeah, I counted and I was sober) of your run plays is regrettable. Make your case for the “looking ahead to OU” syndrome but either way, I’m not cool with it. ISU stacked the box and dared us to run and when the holes were there, the backs found ‘em (we’ll get to the vision element of our running game later) but when there wasn’t a hole, there was a jailbreak of red jerseys in the backfield. Blame it on scheme. Blame it on development. Put the blame wherever but we need to hear some pads popping up front if we want everyone to believe that we’re physical. You hear me, Mason Walters?

WR
I’m content with our third receiving option being a mystery as long as Mike Davis is exposing zones and Shipley’s race continues to be in question. Seriously, is he really white? No, seriously. When you have those two talents, it’s hard to check to your third option. I keep hearing that Goodwin, Onyegbulelele, Hales, and Harris (when he’s healthy) will be further utilized but when you have the aforementioned talents, it’s hard to progress to option 3 because you know they’re gonna get open. And, if they don’t, there is a tight end chasing dandelions somewhere on the field with nothing but grass between him and a pylon.

The blocking from this group was at par for the third straight game. Ship and Davis have no issues with contact especially when he who opposes played a munchkin in the ISU rendition of “OZ” during the Spring. Staying with the block continues to be a small problem but I’ll take them engaging over the ole’ we’re used to seeing. John Harris is clearly our best blocking option but the concern I have there is that his role was too obvious when he was healthy. We need to get him and others more involved in the passing game because teams like OU will bracket or disguise coverages on Ship and MD. The TE check down won’t always be there. I especially didn’t like the lazy routes in the 2nd half though I loved seeing Jaxon Desmond Shipley wrestle the ball away from a defender down the sideline. It was defended well but Ship had obviously watched “Over the Top” that morning and that was his version of turning the hat around backwards.

QB
Mixed emotions. Like watching a fat girl jog. On the one hand, I mean, good for her. She’s doing something about it. On the other hand, did she really have to wear a tank top? Case McCoy looked exactly like what has been described regarding his practice sessions: Nails on one play followed by a mistake that only the Mack clap can cure. I loved his initial drive and felt that his checks and fakes were perfect but I nearly threw my Maker’s rocks against the wall when he slid a yard short of a first down with only 4th and short awaiting. If Ash is in on that play, he dives head first for a first down and flips off the ISU bench while doing so. He made some solid throws that were great play calls more than they were good reads. The throw still has to be made so I’ll give him that but he misses open receivers due to waiting too long for his initial checks to get free. The sack he took is a perfect example. Davis had a free release in the flat with a shot at the first down but Case didn’t progress to him and it cost us a red zone trip. Hence, the bench. While we’re on that point- Case, you bought into this system just like everyone else so when Ash has the hot hand and is getting snaps, don’t pout like a bitch on the sideline. Yeah dude, that was on TV. We all saw you stare ahead not acknowledging Mack like you were a 15 year-old virgin ignoring your Mom’s insistence on the use of condoms. Don’t be a douche in public. It’s not a good look for us.

Ash played a very good game for the most part but also had his share of miscues. I thought Mack was going to pummel him with a parking cone after he threw to a lineman on the failed screen. He also has a tendency to believe in yards that aren’t there when he pulls the ball down. David, the hole you think you see is as real as the Easter Bunny. I bet you think strippers like you too.

I feel like I’m being too negative here but we play OU next week and if I didn’t approach that game with pessimism, I might experience a sizeable meltdown that could punch the current economic crisis in the ovary. Ash was the clear winner here due to his awareness and ball size. He brought the large cup to the game and for that, I applaud him as does the Delta house. Get ‘em, David. Tell House Mother Anna that Jake and I send our love.

RB
Malcolm Brown gets two dick punches per lineman for this performance but the kid can work with nothing if need be. I found myself saying (out loud several times and it was very annoying to my wife, apparently) “so this is what happens when you have a running back that doesn’t go down on first contact.” The dude gets yards and is always driving forward. Given that he was beaten behind the border like a Guadalajaran runaway, I applaud his effort.
The story was the Fozzy/Monroe show. Fozzy is fireworks from the Wilcat and the vision that he is currently exhibiting is beyond my assumption of his ability. It’s very refreshing and I like that I don’t cringe in fear every time he touches the ball like I used to. It was starting to border Pavlov territory.

When DJ touches the ball, he’s getting 6-9 yards minimum. Bank it. We all knew he was crazy fast but he has the body control of a pot smuggling Waco native that once graced the 40 acres. I don’t remember where it is, exactly, but there is a play where DJ hits the corner and it seems that momentum will take him out of bounds but instead he turns the corner on his toes and picks up and extra 4 yards before being brought down a yard from the sticks. If I’m thankful for two things this week, they are bacon and the fact that DJ plays for us.

Cody Johnson took a punch to the throat on that 4th down play and I blame his misread just as much as I blame the line. Plays break down, Cody. It’s what you do with those plays that makes you a next-level back. I also wasn’t thrilled with his blocking though Berryhill continues to bring the lunch pail every game. When that dude finally touches the ball for a meaningful carry, I’ll slow-clap our rewarding his efforts.

I love that we use Fozzy as a passing option out of the backfield but I would love to see us do the same with Brown. It honestly doesn’t matter if we complete the throw or not. The fact that we show it as an option is likely to give Venables congestive heart failure.

TE
Relatively quiet night for these guys though it was nice to see Jones out there mixing it up on the edge. With eight in the box, you need to trust your tight end to get good push on his end and the battles were won more often than they were lost for this group. We’ll need the entire depth chart against the Sooners as they will be looking to develop edge pressure with extra men set up to rattle our young QBs. If we’re just chucking a guy and releasing, it could be serious problem-leaking septic tank level. But, if we are able to be physical here with disguised releases, Bryan Harsin should win the Broyles award.

All in all a quality effort with a 2nd half yager-bomb hangover. It’s hard to get up for a half of football when the game is all but over and you have visions of poor people wearing red in your head.

Defense and Shitfield Teams

DB
Why wouldn’t I start there given what we witnessed. Gideon and Vacarro are in the Justice League right now. It’s not just the interception but really what they bring to the field on every play. When you can trust that your safeties aren’t playing grab-ass and are actually focused and athletic enough to make plays, it gives you a number of options up front. As much as I’ve mentioned it, I still can’t believe the success of this group given their experience. They lock down, tackle like the dickens (just had to say it) and have the ball skills of a Korea Town “masseuse” specialist. Even with time, Steele (born to be a gay porn star) Jantz seemed actually scared to throw to what seemed to be open receivers because we close too fast. What was expected to be a massive ulcer on our collective stomach has been a welcomed surprise and dare I say it, strength to this point. Most props to Gideon, Vacarro, and Phillips for delivering violent hits.

LB
If you’re not happy with this group due to a lack of sacks, then you’re not really watching the game. What Acho, Hicks, and Robinson provide in pressure, coverage, and run support is exactly what we need. They are playing roles in this scheme and it is a beautiful thing to watch. I’m a little frustrated that KRob seems to find the safety block every time he rushes but he really makes up for it in coverage swallowing up TE’s and daring the QB to throw it to undersized WRs. If you want your receiver on the field next week, you won’t throw it near Robinson because he is likely to make the tackle using the receiver’s own arm that was removed on contact.

Acho is deadly on the jail break rushes from either side. He’s small and quick enough to get by guys but what makes him special is his intelligence. He knows where the blocking angle is and he knows how to avoid it. Having a Nigerian at linebacker is comparable to having a D1 receiver on your co-ed flag team.

Hicks left with an injury that turned out to be nothing and his stats were minimal during play. I still love the violence he brings to every take down but he needs coaching in gap control and tackling at the line. I understand he’s used to seeing smaller scat backs that give to arm tackles but that ain’t gonna cut it against our physical opponents. You gotta bring the wood in space and bring a cinder block behind your back between the tackles. Help will come but simply forcing a cut by the back isn’t ideal at the point of attack.

DL
We played vanilla up front and I don’t mean we used white guys. Hahaha. We’re Texas for God’s sake so we know that squatty, slow white boys don’t cut it up front. The last beasty white dude on the line was Robison and he was only white-ish. When we stunt with the ends, we create confusion and it seemed that Diaz was more concerned with gap creation for the backside group than creating pressure with the front four. It was designed to kill the run which didn’t really work in the middle and that remains a mystery to me. Either we’re getting beat between the tackles or the LBs are getting caught in the flow. It looks like both from my second viewing and that vexes me. I’m very vexed. If we’re going to dictate the OU offense, this has to improve significantly before next week. My money is on this not happening thus forcing Diaz to find new ways to blow up run plays. I expect a lot more Edmond at the MLB spot and zone blitzes designed to force outcuts by tailbacks. Until we can prove that penetration is possible from the front four, we will have to be creative on the attack. I have faith in Diaz as should you. I also have concerns about Randall’s motor and that is giving my angina. Granted, that could be my chicken nachos with Colby cheese.

Special Teams
I’m out of words that could illustrate the dumpster fire that is our kickoff coverage and returns. It’s a hot mess of excrement that reaches Michael Bay movie levels. I will say this- Can we stop kicking to the 35 yard line with a minute to go in the half thus giving the opposing offense an option of scoring points? Jesus, Mack, we’re lucky to get a guy down before he gets to the 30 on regular kickoffs. What makes you think that we’re going to stop a guy from getting 12 yards when we kick short?

Overall, it was a good half of play that secured a win in a game that I circled before the season as a potential trap game. It became more of a concern as the Cyclones showed brawn in their first few games. I love that we took it to them early but we left too many points on the field for me to walk away completely satisfied. Still, we’re 4-0 headed into the biggest game of the season. Hook ‘Em and God Bless America.