Bowl Issue Volume II

Back to the matter at hand. I am so incredibly tempted to take this opportunity to expound upon the failures of a certain island based football team. Or maybe even discuss at length the similarities between Jaba the Hut with a flat top and Charlie Weis. Honestly, Charlie Weis in a ley? ESPN, even "three fries short of a Happy Meal" Lou Holtz knew that was intentional comedy. That, or utter torture. Did we need that many shots of him in the booth. It was like watching Mama Cass mouth her lyrics into a speaker box just before murdering a ham sandy.

No, well get to all that in the Post-season issue. For now, let's stick to the bowls. Round 2.

Dec. 27



Meineke Car Care Bowl

North Carolina vs. West Virginia

Breakdown- This is your last opportunity to see Pat "ass Rocket Smurf" White before you see him returning punts for touchdowns against your favorite NFL team. That is all the reason you need to tune in but if you want more, this should be a phenomenal game between two teams that (based on talent) should have won their respective conferences. Prediction: Pat White goes for 200/100.



Champs Sports Bowl

Wisconsin vs. Florida State

Breakdown- Two offenses that have found their identity like Courtney Love has found Jesus. I hope you like defense and the 100 faces of Bobby Bowden. That estranged look somewhat resembling constipation mixed with a craving for spiced meat: that's Bobby's look of frustration. It's been the same face pretty much all year. Prediction: The under will be reset at 34 before kickoff.


Emerald Bowl

Miami vs. California

Breakdown- This is Randy Shannon's chance to show that his troops at Miami have shaken the Shug Knight image that riddled this program for so many years. That this team can win and win in big games without wideouts who carry the operating budget of Thailand in their pocket. Prediction: Won't happen. Just look at the line and make a judgement. The Cal offense should roll no matter who is playing QB.


Dec. 28

Independence Bowl- Shreveport, LA.

La. Tech vs. Northern Illinois

Breakdown- Practically a home game for Louisiana Tech. Not that it matters for a team that averages less per game than were in my graduating class at UT. 14 people who aren't attending the game will actually watch and 7 of those will be geriatrics who don't understand that it is La Tech and not LSU. Prediction- Do you really care? Neither do I. This is exactly what is wron with college football.


Dec. 29

Papajohns.com Bowl- Birmingham, AL.

NC State vs. Rutgers

Breakdown- Remember when Greg Schiano was wanted by every second tier school in the country pretending to be on the up and up. Then he lost Ray Rice. Mike Teel remembers those days vividly and is probably happier than Paris Hilton sitting on a mountain of diruetics that his days at RU are over. On the other side of the field, Tom O'Brien has a young QB in Glennon who is the epitome of Freshman. He will look like a seasoned veteran on the plays that he is comfortable with and like a 16 year-old girl walking through a fresh fart on the others. Prediction: Teel will make it his personal life's mission to come out with a win. When your last name matches that of the gayest shade of blue in the universe, your anger shouldn't be questioned.


Alamo Bowl- San Antonio, TX.

Northwestern vs. Missouri

Breakdown- After removing the hazard cone from their collective rear ends post conference championship game, the Missouri Tigers get the Big XII equivalent of the Jeopardy gift bag...Alamo Bowl. They deserve it. I don't know about the rest of you but I grew sick and tired of allowing my expectation cup to runneth over when concerning this team. Every time you expected to see the "real" Missouri, well, you did. They are a team packed full of overachievers outside of Coffman and Maclin. Yeah, that includes Daniel. All 5'10" 240lbs. of him. Prediction: They're playing a middle of the road Big Ten team. Do you really need guidance here?

Dec. 30th


Humanitarian Bowl- Boise, ID.

Maryland vs. Nevada

Breakdown- What, no Boise State in the Humanitarian Bowl? The blue field will instead play host to a what should be a great game that most of you will miss. It will a stout Maryland defense against an efficient Nevada offense that would challenge tougher defenses when clicking on all cylinders. Predicition- C'mon, I just want to see that Maryland receiver get lit up and throw up on the field again.

Texas Bowl- Houston, TX.

W. Michigan vs. Rice

Breakdown- Western Michigan is walking into a buzzsaw here. A. This is a home game for Rice. B. Jarrett Dillard is still a Rice Owl. C. David Bailiff is a very good game-day coach who will throw scheme out the window if he sees a more effective alternative. The Owls are more impressive than most imagined. They are Princeton headed into the NCAA tournament. On the surface they are a group of slow, white dudes with the collective athletic talent of the 3rd grade girl scouts. In reality, they are a disciplined machine moving the ball at will. Prediction: Take Rice BIG!


Holiday Bowl- San Diego, CA.

Oregon vs. Oklahoma State

Breakdown- This has to be one of the more exciting non-BCS games this season. Two Jekyll and Hyde teams who were once in the position to win their conference and end up in the BCS themselves. Both teams can really run the football as OSU has two running backs and Oregon seems to have 11. It will all come down to defense. Saw that coming, didn't you? Where these teams have really struggled is in the ability to shut down the opposition while the offense rolls freight-train style. Especially Oregon who scores every 120 seconds. Prediction: Oklahoma State will be able to shake up QB Masoli with disguised blitzes and man-on coverage. There is no speed difference so this game will be won in the trenches. Edge- Oregon.

Dec. 31st


Armed Forces Bowl- Fort Worth, TX.

Air Force vs. Houston

Breakdown- Anything resembling a running game is apparently sacreligious in Houston. Kevin Sumlin is afraid that the ground will open up and all that is unholy will rise from the burning beneath to engulf the city if he runs a draw. Air Force, on the other hand, will try to wishbone them to death with slow, undersized running backs taking advantage of overpursuing defenders. Prediction: I forgot to mention that neither team has any belief in defense so look for a high-scoring, big play game.


Sun Bowl- El Paso, TX.

Pittsburgh vs. Oregon State

Breakdown- Sun Bowl stadium might be the worst stadium to host a bowl game and El Paso might be the worst city. It is a complete culture shock to arive in dry, ugly EP, Texas for any team who doesn't frequent this part of Texas or certain parts of Mexico. The food delicious, the environment attrocious. Outside of the city issues, this bowl seems to be a no man's land for a team's successful tendencies. Thus, look for Oregon State to suddenly forget what the word coverage means and look for Pitt to limit the running game as they go ape through the air. Vegas insiders will be tossing up play cards like Wall Street investors and shaking their heads Spurrier style. Prediction: Tiny running back in orange and black leads huge 4th quarter comeback for Beaver victory.


Music City Bowl- Nashville, TN.

Vanderbilt vs. Boston College

Breakdown- This would seem to be a complete blowout as Jeff Jagodzinski has this BC team looking like that of last year's squad. The issue is that Vandy has more speed. Yes, Vanderbilt. The Rice of the SEC. It is also a home game for the Commodores. I know, lame mascot. Prediction: BC does exactly what we expect them to do. Namely, play shut down defense and methodically move down the field for sixes. Thus, yeah, blowout.


Insight Bowl- Tempe, AZ

Minnesota vs. Kansas

Breakdown- All of Hobbiton will be watching as it's beloved son, Todd Reesing tries to conjure Elvin magic against a tight Minny D. What Tim Brewster has done in Minnesota is nothing short of sensational. This team was 1-11 last season and plays every week with a Geo Metro-sized chip on it's shoulder. Prediction- Dezmon Briscoe.


Chick fil-A Bowl- Atlanta, GA.

LSU vs. Georgia Tech

Breakdown- Certainly the tastiest of Bowl games. For those who have never experienced Chick fil-A, go right now to the internet, find the closest store and drive there. You will immediately confirm the existence of a higher power after your first taste of those peanut oil fried chicken nuggets. Anyway, if LSU was worth a steaming pile this season, this might actually be a game. Somehow, the Tigers dropoff was more than any of us expected and somehow, the Paul Johnson hire at GT is a perfect match. I was the first person to question that hire. Admitting when I'm wrong. Prediction: It will be a struggle early. LSU does still play defense even if their quarterback is as useful as ice cream served on the sun. However, the Fighting Bees will eventually impose their will on offense and will put the game out of reach at the beginning of the 4th.

Jan. 1st


Outback Bowl- Tampa, FL

South Carolina vs. Iowa

Breakdown- I have to note that Phil Steele picked this game before the season started. That is exactly why I get Phil Steele's College Football before every season. There you go, Phil. I'll take my check now. The Hawks used a massive upset of Penn State to propel them through the remaining two games on the schedule, saving what was just another average .500 year in Iowa City. Impressive but they are still playing a team from the SEC. Prediction: Spurrier only removes the visor twice revealing what has always been a perfect coif of brown force. Locked intoa defensive battle early, the Roosters will eventually get it figured out at halftime.


Capital One Bowl- Orlando, FL.

Michigan State vs. Georgia

Breakdown- Wow, there are overmatched Big Ten teams and there is this game. Sparty has one guy and folks, tough-running backs are somewhat common in the SEC. Georgia was a game away from possibly being in the BCS picture but instead layed the proverbial egg against GT. Prediction: Dawgs have something to prove and will take out the frustration on a completely out-manned Michigan State team.


Gator Bowl- Jacksonville, FL

Nebraska vs. Clemson

Breakdown- Two of the great fanbases go head to head here. Clemson finally has a head coach and made what I think was probably the best decision in keeping Dweezil Zappa or whatever the hell his name is. The Huskers made a phenomenal hire in bringing in Bo "Fire Marshall Bill" Pelini. Let me tell you something! What he has done over the course of the year to turn this program around has been great and I fully expect to see Nebraska back in the Big XII hunt next season even though they lose three major contributors on offense. Prediction: There will be more Nebraska fans than Clemoson fans. Go Huskers.


Rose Bowl- Pasadena, CA.

Penn State vs. USC

Breakdown- This is the type of classic you pray for in the big bowls, especially in the Rose Bowl. The setting is basically the anti- El Paso Bowl with an incredible tailgate situation, beautiful stadium, and mega pre-game hype. Anyone who has even seen a college football game this year knows that this game will come down to defense. USC practically gave up on developing offense when they realized that Mark Sanchez was a poor man's Rudy Carpenter. The defense, however, has 10 NFL players on it. Honestly, these guys could shut down 27 NFL teams. Penn State's goal in life has to be to avoid turnovers when on offense but force them on the other end. Prediction- It will be either be a close game that goes down to the last 3 minutes or SC will cause the necessary turnovers to turn this into a blowout.


Orange Bowl- Miami, FL

Virginia Tech vs. Cincinatti

Breakdown- The Bearkats winning the Big East tells you that either Brian Kelly really is that great or the conference is quickly turning into the ACC. You got to hand it to Frank Beamer. For all intensive purposes, this Hokie team has no business being in the BCS. They lost the first game of the season to ECU and spent the rest of the season pulling victories out of their keaster but hey, here they are. Prediction- Brian Kelly adds to the impressive resume with a BCS victory. Added prediction- He'll be wearing Notre Dame boxers when he does it.

Jan. 2nd


Cotton Bowl- Dallas, TX.

Ole Miss vs. Texas Tech

Breakdown- I am loving the insane thought process behind the idea that this could be an upset. C'mon, people. Let's be adults about this. Graham Harrell salivates at the though of mid-level SEC DBs lined up opposite his receiving force. Crabtree will look like an F-16 compared to some of the receivers the Rebs have seen this year. Prediction: Jevan Snead throws a first quarter touchdown to put the Rebs up early and we all crap our pants over an upset possibility. Reality sets in after Graham throws 5 touchdown passes...in the first half.

Liberty Bowl- Memphis, TN.

Kentucky vs. East Carolina

Breakdown- It would seem as exciting as an SMU/Vanderbilt girl's basketball game but this should actually be an enticing matchup. You gotta love watching two teams with nothing to lose but their coaches to bigger programs though I strongly doubt Brooks is going anywhere. Prediction: You'll probably miss it as you will be glued to a previously recorded Final Four Volleyball game on Fox Sports.


Sugar Bowl- New Orleans, LA.

Utah vs. Alabama

Breakdown- You don't need me to tell you. Look, I give credit to Utah for going undefeated, blah, blah, blah, but seriously, to think that they stand a chance in this is laughable. Utah has never seen a defense who hits like this or who executes like this. Prediction: Could someone please tell me what the hell a Ute is?

Jan. 3rd


International Bowl- Toronto, CA.

Buffalo vs. UCONN

Breakdown- Oooh, look how popular college football in on an international scale. We can play in Canada. Give me a break. Is this bowl still happening? I thought for sure that they would have chased us out of town with absurdly alcoholic beer and hockey skates by now. You do have to watch this one though just to show the support for Turner Gill who will have one last season after this one in Buffalo. Somebody will scoop this guy up. Prediction: Going with the Bulls.

Jan. 5th


Fiesta Bowl- Glendale, AZ.

Ohio State vs. Texas

Breakdown- Our players are telling you that they are just tickled pink to be playing in a BCS bowl considering that no one felt like we could get here. Bullshit. Don't believe one word of it. This team is furious, especially #12 and Mack Brown has been chewing back antacids like they were Spree since the announcement of the bowl matchups. We will come out firing and Ohio State's best bet will be to stick to their attack defense if they feel like they will have any kind of a chance in this game. I know Terrelle Pryor is great but he is still a freshman. He will make his Vince-like plays (we will hear close to 25 comparisons during the game) but he will also make some large mistakes that will most likely lead to Colt McCoy touchdowns. Prediction: Close early, distant memory late. Colt has a monster day and it will be Quan's Bon Voyage party. Hook 'Em!!

Jan. 6th


GMAC Bowl- Mobile, AL

Tulsa vs. Ball State

Breakdown- Ball State's dreams were rocked in the MAC championship game by Buffalo ending their undefeated season. What? You didn't see that? Yeah, who did? Tulsa is an atom bomb on offense capable of putting up 50 on just about anybody especially MAC teams. Should be fun to watch two big offenses go off on each other during this ridiculous break between the Fiesta Bowl and Championship game. Prediction: One of the announcers will eventually laugh at himself after referring the Cardinals as Testes State. Honestly, who named this college?

Jan. 8th


BCS Championship

Oklahoma vs. Florida

Breakdown- If Colt and the offense can put together extended drives, we will keep the Gators on their heels. Wait, what? Oh, that's right, we got royally screwed by the conference. Awesome. Look, there may not be anyone in the country cheering harder for Tebow and the gang but I have to say it, I don't see it. Say what you will about the OU defense- they are attrocious but the offense is like the opening of the Arc of the Covenant. It is going to take a very bad day by the OU offensive line or a Bob Stoops BCS meltdown to keep Florida in this the whole way. I fully expect Timmy T. to have a monster game and Percy Harvin will make OU DBs look like DiCaprio in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" I just don't see them being able to outscore and really stop OU all four quarters. Prediction: Florida wins with special teams and JaMarkus McFarland's mother pulls up to the game in a brand new Lexus SUV filled with "free alcohol and drugs." Go GATORS!!

The Bowl Issue Part One

Bowl Issue Part One: The little guys

Welcome to the Bowl Issue. Our most comprehensive and lackluster issue of the season. Now, before we start to tackle the bowls, there is one small issue we need to cover: Oklahoma. There is a new, improved hate that is brewing south of the Red River. Just when we were starting to accept the BCS atrocity, Sam Bradford wins the Heisman trophy much to the liking of short bus rider, Billy Sims. Those of you who thought we might just shrug our shoulders and respond, "well, Hell, he deserves it" have about as much insight into Texas football as I do into the inner workings of Chinese donut shop. As my good buddy, Ben put it so candidly: "I hate Oklahoma more than I hate Glitter." Ben is the President of the Anti-Glitter Alliance.

This season's game, which we won for those who don't remember, reached a new echelon for the rivalry in the sense that it affected all of college football. And, it's only the beginning. Colt McCoy announced his return for his senior then watched Oklahoma annhilate both Missouri and the Longhorn hopes for a shot at a National title. A week later, he sat in a room in downtown Manhattan with the second and third best players in the country. The second best took home Colt's award and trashed Texas dreams for the second time in one year. We don't take this stuff lightly, Sammy. The final straw was the Stoops smirk that graced his chubby, douchey, face as Sam was announced and Sims began his best impression of "Nell" on a mix of black tar heroin and steroids. It was a rivaly that became a battle. For the past decade, it has been war. From this moment, it is a Vendetta. Hook 'Em! Go Gators!


Stay tuned next week for Part Two of the Bowl Issue. For now, let's get to these bowls shall we.

December 20th

Eagle Bank Bowl- Washington D.C.

Wake Forest vs. Navy

Breakdown- First, I wasn't even aware that Eagles had their own bank and that said bank could have enough capital to sponsor a bowl game. Honestly, in a time when Countrywide and Wachovia are forced to merge to avoid Chapter 11, how the hell does an endangered species manage a financial institution? All kidding aside, Navy managed to take Wake behing the woodshed earlier in the year and there really isn't anything suggesting that they won't do it again. Let's be adults, the only people outside of D.C. that are going to be watching this game will be LSU students who realize that they creat a drinking game out of the announcers mispronouncing the Navy QB's name. Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Ehnada.





New Mexico Bowl- Albuquerque, NM

Colorado State vs. Fresno State

Breakdown- 6-6 vs. 7-5. Awesome. The biggest problem with not having a playoff system really isn't the issues at the top of the BCS, it's our exposure to bowl games between mid-level teams in crap conferences. It's not like we're getting to watch Bradlee Van Pelt and David Carr. Prediction: Announcers try to get us to believe that this game has a significant recruiting impact seeing as Colorado borders New Mexico. Rams by 10.

magicJack St. Petersburg Bowl- St. Petersburg, FL

Memphis vs. South Florida

Breakdown- You can imagine our embarrasment seeing as we picked South Florida to represent the Big East (aka the NCAA basketball elite 8) in the BCS. Instead, the Bulls proved to be as reliable as a Chevy Malibu with over 70,000 miles. Remember when this team was 6-1? Prediction: Matt Grothe takes off his helmet to reveal that he is the Ghost Rider in the 3rd quarter and leads the Bulls on a runaway.




Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl- Las Vegas, NV

BYU vs. Arizona

Breakdown- Mormons in Vegas is the very definition of irony. It is also the recipe for a pack of very bored strippers. Jake's regards to the Crazy Horse II. He promises his return in the near future. The Cougars started the season on what we thought might be a rampage of Cinderelladom until we realized that they are a Mountain West team with little upside unless you like watching undersized white guys run hitch routes. Arizona made a run of their own to impress the peers of the Pac 10. Not too difficult a task considering...well, you know. Prediction: Surprisingly, a defensive battle. Not surprisingly, very little caffeine served at the game.


December 21st




New Orleans Bowl - well, New Orleans of course

Southern Miss vs. Troy

Breakdown- $20 to the guy who can name the QB for either team. Honestly, who doesn't love the annual Sun Belt vs. CUSA barnyard burner. Prediction: Of the 9 people who will actually watch this game on TV, I will be the only one who can name both coaches.

December 23rd


San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl- San Diego, CA.

Boise State vs. TCU

Breakdown- This is easily the best bowl where there is no BCS conference team in sight. You gotta love Boise's decision to blow off the home stadium bowl game for what might be their toughest game of the year. It will most certainly be the best defense they've seen. No one is going to hit harder than the Frogs. This game has the possibility of being the next Boise State ESPN Instant Classic. That, or Chris Peterson devises an offense that makes Gary Patteron pop another blood vessel in his eye. Predicition: Broncos by 17 in the end. TCU's offense has the same level of effectiveness as a Lou Holtz pep talk.


December 24th

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl- Honolulu, HI

Hawaii vs. Notre Dame

Breakdown- Don't act like you're not hosting a Christmas Eve Hula party complete with leis, grass skirts, and fat, angry dudes with body paint. Hawaii will have never had more supporters than this Christmas Even. Look, no one likes Notre Dame but Notre Dame especially when the Irish are taking on a team that they have no business losing to. Like, say, Navy. We're going to have to hope the Warriors play with a totally different level of passion. Prediction: Pale Catholics fall victim to a Mai Tai onslaught and let this slip away from them in the fourth quarter.


December 26th

Motor City Bowl- Detroit, MI

Florida Atlantic vs. Central Michigan

Breakdown- What better Christmas present than a horrific bowl game in the city who houses 3 of the largest companies about to file for bankruptcy. Oh, look at that, even the name of the bowl is a reminder. How sadistic. Prediction: I don't remember this game is even on until the fourth quarter when I am busy strategizing the use of my 20 gift cards.

GP.2008.15

The Renegade College Football Newsletter

A 49-9 victory over your bitter rival after being embarrassed for two straight seasons by those heathens is supposed to feel like vindication. And during the five minutes it took me to devour my post-game pumpkin pie, it did. I relished in the usual yet amazing Colt McCoy performance, the defense’s domination that could be equated to Reagan vs. Panama (HI, Mr. Noriega), and of course, the gratifying moment would not have been complete without the Stephen McGee Asshole curtain call. SM, you’re just damn lucky that as you approached the sideline to whine about getting your head nearly taken off by Sergio Kindle, that Roy Miller didn’t go ahead and complete the duty. Good Luck never playing in the NFL.

The reflection lasted the length of the slice of pie and a glass of rum-filled eggnog. And I mean FILLED people. When half of your family is Puerto Rican, you become very good friends with Bacardi. This is a good thing because I was about to need about 5 more. Reality hits like Bevo on acid and a bottle of Dripping Springs Vodka. We were screwed, no matter what. It didn’t matter if Oklahoma won by 1 or by 50. It sure as hell didn’t matter if they managed to blow it because none of us ever believed that Baylor stood a margarita’s chance in my right hand.

Honestly, when you woke up on Saturday, did you have the slightest feeling of “It’s possible”? When Baylor miraculously went up by two touchdowns at halftime against Tech, did any part of you have that feeling that would suggest that you were about to witness an Oklahoma State miracle circa 2001? No, of course not. By the way, Robert Griffin is a stud and Baylor will be bowling again next season. You heard it here first.

No, the sickening thing was that we knew our fate. We just refused to accept it because Mack wouldn’t let us. Yes, let me take this opportunity to regale what so many have neglected to. Mack Brown took every opportunity, shameful or otherwise, to state our case. To ensure that above all that was about to fail us in this batshit-crazy system, that it was known that we, Texas, had been left in the cold. To those who tried to sully his efforts, calling them crass, disrespectful, or unsportsmanlike (looking at you, Coach Stoops), please observe my middle finger. Especially you, Barry Switzer.

Mack did what any of you would have done and should have done in the same situation. He fought for his players, for his coaches, and for us, the fans- knowing damn well that it was us that he would have to answer to if he didn’t. So, here is to you Mack. Over and over. We appreciate all that you do, especially in the hardest of times when your actions aren’t popular amongst your peers. Take note, incoming recruits.

Now, I promised myself that I wouldn’t spend the entire issue rambling on about the issues with the BCS or even more so, the conference tie-breaker rule that has Texas fans hitting the bottle as much as LSU fans on a Saturday afternoon. I’m not going to bore you with the same arguments as to why we deserve to be playing for the title. You’ve heard them all, you’ve read them all, and unless you’re a Sooner or an idiot, you agree with us. I’ll just say that unless Missouri is able to accomplish what would only be described as a Faux-Hawk miracle on Saturday, don’t expect anyone in the Burnt Orange to be happy about life. If Oklahoma plays for the National Championship, the outcome won’t matter- win or lose, we’re only going to think what might have been had it been us and not them. Thus, Go Missouri!! And if we can’t have it our way, screw the Big XII, GO SEC!!! May you be the next conference to embarrass Oklahoma at season’s end.



Coach Willingham, the Coconut is on it’s way:

Washington Huskies


And now, the real Top 25!

1. Florida 11-1- The hottest team in America is in Gainesville, not Norman, Oklahoma. The biggest difference is that this team is playing defense- something Oklahoma apparently plans to look into prior to playing Missouri.
2. Alabama 12-0- Well, what do you want? They’re 12-0 and unlike the rest of the top teams in the country, they have beaten everyone they were supposed to. You know, as in they didn’t already lose to Florida by 10 points on a neutral field.
3. Texas 11-1- At this point, speechless as Jake after a strip club visit.
4. Oklahoma 11-1- This is a new hate. One I had only reserved for people who wear sunglasses in grocery stores, guys who walk around with blue tooth headsets in their ears, and the cast from the Hills.
5. USC 10-1- You done complaining, Pete? Did we send our thank you notes to Mike Bellotti and the rest of the staff in Eugene?
6. Penn State 11-1- JoePa’s only worries about facing SC- whether OJ was going to start and if they still had Grape Jello at the Rose Bowl. I’m saying he’s old.
7. Utah 12-0- This team and a second-tier Big Ten team will be playing in the BCS over Tech. I thought we were pissed.
8. Texas Tech 11-1- Michael “Merlin” Crabtree announced today that he is going to stay for another year. Apparently, he nightmared it in his head that he wasn’t ready for the NFL.
9. Ohio State 10-2- Yes, you get to play a pissed off 11-1 Texas team who might be the only school in the country who belongs on the same field as Florida. Frightening.
10. Boise State 12-0- Seriously, what the hell does Chris Peterson have to do to get hired by a major program that has the funds to put green grass on the field?
11. Cincinnati 10-2- Remember when this was just a basketball school? Mark Dantonio put the program on the map and Brian Kelly has turned them into a Big East powerhouse. (Oxymoron?) As long as Kelly is the man, this team will be playing in undeserved BCS bowls virtually every year.
12. Ball State 12-0- Yeah, still don’t get it. Nate Davis is the new Ben Roethlisberger.
13. TCU 10-2- The Frogs are experiencing the best stretch in their history, including the 1940’s when TCU actually played for conference championships. If they can figure out a way to keep Gary Patterson, they could continue to steal recruits away from Texas A&M and Tech.
14. Georgia Tech 9-3- I said it before but I wrote off the Paul Johnson hire like I wrote off “Skip It” when I passed the age of 5. Wrong about both.
15. Oregon 9-3- It will go unnoticed but the Ducks performance against in the Civil War was the most impressive in the Pac 10 all season. What Coach Bellotti has been able to piece together after being hit with an enormous amount of injuries is nothing short of amazing. A traditionalist with a running game obsession would sell his right leg to watch the Ducks take on Georgia Tech in a bowl game.
16. Oklahoma State 9-3- Yeah, we needed it to look a lot better than that, guys.
17. Georgia 9-3- To Georgia Tech? As an SEC team, you should never leave the stadium hearing the fans chant A-C-C!
18. Missouri 9-3- There are no bigger Tiger fans on this earth this weekend than Longhorn fans. Our fate rests in your hands Captain Fauxhawk, Leader of Hobbiton.
19. Boston College 9-3- Imagine if people in Boston gave a damn about college sports. Think this might get more press than the status of Brady’s knee? No, you’re right. Probably wouldn’t.
20. Ole Miss 8-4- Houston Nutt is the Mike Leach of the SEC minus a Law Degree and a crazed obsession with One-Eyed Willie.
21. Michigan State 9-3- Classic Big Ten. Watching Paint Dry Offense and competitive eaters on D. Yet, they’re winning. I’m perplexed.
22. BYU 10-2- When analyzing the rule book in the off-season, can we discuss how many 25+ year old players each team should be allowed?
23. Pittsburgh 8-3- Baylor would go 8-3 in the Big East. Just sayin’.
24. Northwestern 9-3- Northwestern would probably win the Big East.
25. Oregon State 8-4- Do you feel a little like Tom Hanks in “Big”?

The order on my Heisman ballot:

Colt McCoy
Sam Bradford
Tim Tebow
Graham Harrell

ACC Championship: Boston College vs. Virginia Tech
SEC Championship: Alabama vs. Florida
Big XII Championship: Oklahoma (Bull$&@(*#%) vs. Missouri
Army vs. Navy



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