GP.2008.10

The Renegade College Football Newsletter

So let the mass hysteria of BCS pandemonium begin! As we get closer to the end of the year, we dip further and further into what I like to call “Don’t F*#K Up” mode where you beg your team not to pull an SC or a Florida and blow a “gimme” conference game this late in the season. It’s already getting exciting.

First, my Horns squeaked out what could be referred to as an instant classic against an underrated Oklahoma State team. (Insert “Told You So”). Yes, Colt the Magnificent had two costly turnovers but also outperformed just about every other college QB in the country with 391 yards passing, 2 passing touchdowns, 1 rushing, and he’ll take his martini shaken, not stirred. With 3 of the 4 “Murderer’s Row” like scheduled foes down, Texas is the frontrunner in the BCS. That will continue if we can figure out a way to get out of the desert still undefeated. Damn Red Raiders and their booze, Pirate obsessed coach, and tortillas.

The Nittany Lions continued the winning ways over Ohio State in a snoozer the likes of which would barely be more entertaining than listening to the slow kid in class read “Great Expectations.” The game was basically a commercial for Offensive Line recruits and less-than-quick linebackers. Is it pretty obvious to everyone at this point that the Big Ten is riddled with slower, more deliberate offenses and coaching staffs that care only about keeping the ball away from the other team with the running game? Good.

You’re asking yourself if Alabama or Texas loses a game, are we left with Penn State in the National Championship. You’re asking how it is still possible that SC is still in the mix for the Championship game after losing a “no chance in hell they lose this” conference game in a conference with two of the worst teams in all of college football. You’re asking how Jake managed to have himself banned from Mississippi, Tennessee, Oregon, Montana, and Wales. If you’re not, then you should be. It really is a great story.

The BCS is flawed, the polls are flawed. Hell, the Harris Poll is full of voters who have nothing to do with College Football. Several of which thought Ball State University was a bad joke. I’m not harping too much on this because a) it’s hilarious and b) I thought so too until 4 hours ago. Here are your Harris poll voters: http://www.fanblogs.com/harris_poll/005526.php.

The polls, regardless of how moronic the contributors are, control everything and will continue to do for years to come so get used to it. Until we get a playoff system that is going to comply with all of the NCAA’s BS objections, we are pretty much screwed. (We’re working on that, by the way). However, I can assure all of you pissed off people that things have never been better than now whether you like to believe it or not. I remember the days (and they weren’t that long ago) when #1 vs. #2 was as likely at the end of the season as my growing a mogwai in the bath tub. There was a time when there was no tiered bowl system and an undefeated Alabama team would probably go to the Sugar Bowl while Texas went to the Cotton Bowl against the Big East champion. Can you imagine such a world when an undefeated Boise State team would have never had the chance to run at Statue of Liberty to beat Oklahoma? Can you imagine a time when Vince Young’s Longhorns would have played LSU in the Cotton Bowl while Matt Leinart’s Trojans played Iowa in the Rose Bowl? Exactly, so quit your bitching, enjoy watching 98,000 fans scream their heads off at their team in a rivalry game, and continue obsessing over whether Corso is going to put on you team’s head gear.

Hollow Coconut!! The only change here is that we absolutely had to add Syracuse. You’re welcome, Jason. How Greg Robinson is still employed, I really have no idea:

Washington Huskies
Washington State Cougars
North Texas Mean Green
Syracuse Orange

1. Texas 8-0- How we have been able to hold the ball for 33 minutes a game without a running game is masterful work by Greg Davis. Seven and eight yard passes combined with converting on virtually every third down make an offense damn near impossible to stop. Ask Texas Tech. Speaking of which, let it be know that we HATE playing Tech in Lubbock at night. I would rather sit through an LPGA marathon without an alcohol beverage. You know, hell.
2. Alabama 8-0- It is pretty clear at this point that the Tide would run roughshod over Penn State. The Fighting Nick Sabans are loaded with talent that would overshadow Penn State’s experience. Just watch the Florida/Ohio State Championship game over again and you will get where I am going with this.
3. Penn State 9-0- Regardless of how overrated they might be in State College, you have to admit that it is pretty amazing that this team is being run by a guy whose idea of a good time is slurping pea soup while watching Golden Girl reruns. JoePa is older than my grandfather for God’s sake.
4. Florida 6-1- The Gators are the best team in the SEC and will have every opportunity to prove it in December when they meet Alabama. Tebow has hit his stride and the speed that exists on this team has been turned loose like a Great White shark on a bleeding manatee.
5. Oklahoma 7-1- The offense continues to look spectacular week after week. The defense continues to look like a nine year old sock that has been washed 243 times. A balanced offense will be able to hold the ball against the Sooners and keep their defense rested and physical against the Sooners. Hello Okie State.
6. Texas Tech 8-0- There is no denying that this is the opportunity for Mike Leach to turn the corner, for Graham Harrell to solidify a potential Heisman, and for Tech students to personally destroy their own stadium once again. Here’s to hoping that the opportunity escapes them like it always seems to and another Cotton Bowl appearance. Mike Leach likes Dallas, right?
7. Georgia 7-1- Where was this team against Alabama? Hanging 50 on LSU? I’m not even mad. I’m impressed.
8. USC 6-1- Pete, when you only beat Arizona by 7, rumors start to swirl that you have officially phoned it in and that you are excited to begin your new post as head coach of the San Francisco 49ers.
9. Oklahoma State 7-1- The Cowboys proved that they belong and that Mike Gundy is still a man. He’s 41! After Texas, this is the most physical team in the Big XII.
10. Utah 9-0- I would love for someone to please explain what the hell a Ute is.
11. TCU 8-1- I really don’t know why major schools have passed over Gary Patterson but I don’t think that will continue after the Frogs win the Mountain West. TCU constantly has a top 15 defense paired with a physical offensive line and slew of running backs that rival most SEC teams. The only complaint is that they dress like Rainbow Bright characters and have a cartoon on their helmet.
12. Missouri 6-2- Yes, Missouri. Texas and Oklahoma State are really that good.
13. Boise State 7-0- Same story, different day.
14. Ohio State 7-2- Again, Terrelle Pryor will be amazing some day. Maybe not tomorrow, probably not even in the bowl game, but he will lead this team to another National Championship appearance. Trust me, we Longhorns know the story quite well. Now, fire your offensive coordinator and let him get to it.
15. LSU 5-2- Les Miles can’t win it every year, people. Get over it.
16. Florida State 6-1- Bobby is one of the greatest college football coaches of all time and is one of my favorite coaches to listen to. I could listen to this guy try to explain the rules of Sudoku. Minus a wide left situation, this team has a serious chance at a BCS bowl.
17. Tulsa 8-0- By season’s end, this might be the best non-BCS conference team in the country and I would bet the family farm that doesn’t exist that the Golden Hurricane would crush Utah or BYU. Why isn’t there a non-BCS playoff? Hmmm.
18. Minnesota 7-1- I still don’t get it. How the hell did this team go 1-11 last season? That was not a joke, this team went ONE AND ELEVEN last season. It’s as if Jed in Space 4 at the nearest Trailer Park won the lottery immediately after being arrested for cooking raccoon in the trailer.
19. Oregon 6-2- Bellotti has to be two steps away from running the Wishbone at this point. When you have 7 running backs and a defense that hits like a freight train, who really needs a quarterback?
20. Ball State 8-0- Apparently, this is an actual team and not a running joke between ESPN and myself exposing the obvious humor of a school potentially named after testes.
21. BYU 7-1- Remember when we all were singing the praises of the boys in Provo with their black suits and lack of caffeine? That was fun for five minutes.
22. Michigan State 7-2- Javon Ringer is still for real!
23. North Carolina 6-2- Well, you have to pick at least one or two ACC teams to sit at the back of the Top 25 so that they can quickly be dropped out after losing a conference game they shouldn’t.
24. South Florida 6-2- Matt Groethe is the new Bradley Van Pelt which means at any given moment, he will go rogue like Palin and take on an oncoming linebacker. I love this kid.
25. Virginia 5-3- This team lost to Duke. The wheels were officially off for Al Groh before he found the switch in the dark. Four straight victories for the Cavs and they are back in the hunt for the ACC Championship.

As requested, here are the Top 4 GP Heisman picks so far:

Colt McCoy- Texas
Graham Harrell- Texas Tech
Sam Bradford- Oklahoma
Javon Ringer- Michigan State

Florida vs. Georgia
Wisconsin at Michigan State
Texas at Texas Tech
Florida State at Georgia Tech
Oregon at California


The Grayson Publication is copyrighted and may not be distributed for profit unless otherwise authorized by ownership.

GP.2008.9

The Renegade College Football Newsletter

In the first play from scrimmage, when Roy “Eleven layer Lasagna” Miller blew up the Mizzou reverse, two things became quite evident: Missouri felt so out of their league that they were prepared to throw the kitchen sink at the Horns AND Will Muschamp said something during pre-game that really pissed off the D. After that, it was all up to Colt. So far this season, that meant it was all over but the crying for the Tigers.

The Amazing McCoy was just that…absolutely FREAKING AMAZING! Heisman front-runner? Yeah, I think so. Going 29 of 32 for over 300 yards and two touchdowns certainly won’t damage the possibility of some hardware come late December.

The key is keeping it up. No, not in that way, Jake so stop nodding your head in agreement. The funny thing about us Texas fans is that we can’t even accept the success. We’re scared to death every time the Horns take the field, worried that this is the week. This is the week the turnovers go the other way, the week that Colt tries to make too many plays and throws four picks, the week Mack Brown is caught at the Landing Strip with a hooker name Cassina. So far, this “deathly frightened” approach has been working wonders so we are going to stick with it.

I have to say that I couldn’t be happier with the recent vacating of the USC bandwagon. Outside of Herbstreit and Corso, very few people have emphatically disagreed with SC’s disappearance from the BCS Top 5 and for good reason. No, the computers did not eat a tray full of pot brownies before configuring this as has been suggested. It is more simple than that: They LOST to an unranked team! Look, I realize that your Trojans being dismissed from the nation’s elite, albeit for one week, is like watching your own kid get cut from the Jr. Varsity baseball team but let’s be adults about this. Pointing to the big victory over Ohio State will not help your case considering the sudden re-rise of the Buckeye hype is completely without warrant unless they beat Penn State. Plus, there is no way that ESPN, Fox (and every major sports authority who is rummaging through Pete Carroll’s trash can and leaving him love letters sealed with lipstick) will allow the SC demise to happen. Soon, this will all be over and we will be ignoring the Beaver loss like we did the Stanford loss from last season.


Hollow Coconut!! Every season, we at the Grayson Publication choose to not only recognize the best teams in college football but also the worst. We choose a team at season’s end to be given the Hollow Coconut Award. The award is made and then presented to that team’s Head Coach. We are already down to three midway through the season:

Washington Huskies
Washington State Cougars
North Texas Mean Green

Good luck to all!


Quick Note: Petros Papadakis is BY FAR, the WORST college football commentator ever. Yes, ever. Listening to this jackass call Pac 10 games is like trying to solve math problems after 5 cocktails. It’s painful, useless, and honestly just plain stupid. He makes Brent Musberger enjoyable if that is even possible. I bet Keith Jackson throws up every time he hears this guy open his mouth. Now, your Top 25!

1. Texas 7-0- This team is playing with more emotion and fire than any Texas team I have ever seen. One might believe that they have to considering the lack of “Star Players” that exist on the roster outside of Colt and Brian “I just might kill you” Orakpo.. I might argue that the game is simply supposed to be played this way. Offensive execution and controlled violence on D.

2. Penn State 8-0- I am going with the Lions here over the Tide for a couple of reasons. One: PSU might be the most balanced team in the country with the ability to run and throw OR be made one dimensional and still hurt you. Secondly, JoePa and I share a passion for the Luby’s fried catfish meal with okra. Granted, he goes for the red jello while I always go with orange. To each his own.

3. Alabama 7-0- The Tide seem to have a hard time coping with the fact that they have to convince us of their greatness. Blowing a 20 point lead to Ole Miss in the second half really isn’t the best way to do it. I realize that the Rebels are a team that knocked off the Gators in the swamp but Florida wasn’t dominating an entire game only to give up mid-way through the third quarter thinking the game was over.

4. Florida 5-1- What? You thought Urban Meyer was going to let a conference loss to an unranked team keep him out of the top 5? Who do you think he is, Pete Carroll? Just kidding, Trojan fans! Put away your switchblades. We’re not on campus.

5. Oklahoma 6-1- The Texas hangover finally wore off at halftime against Kansas when the Sooners realized that they were in danger of actually losing to a basketball school with a chicken for a mascot.

6. USC 5-1- 69-0 against Wazzu? Did they pull Sanchez after the first quarter? Seriously, my mom could start at quarterback for the Cougars. Of course, she’s 6’1’’ 220 and runs the 40 in 4.5.- Dazed and Confused reference. You’re welcome, Andy Lee.

7. Oklahoma State 7-0- Honestly, the most balanced team in the Big XII and a true threat for the Horns this weekend. Zac Robinson is having a phenomenal year and as is always the case in Stillwater, the Pokes have a big play receiver and a physical defense that mixes up blitz packages to confuse the opposing quarterback. Sound like a team we know?

8. Texas Tech 7-0- There wasn’t a football fan in Texas who thought twice about Mike Leach’s decision to call timeout to review what was going to be a meaningless touchdown at the end of the rout against the Aggies. When the review proved that Tech didn’t score, he went ahead and punched it in anyway. Hilarious. Poor Aggies.

9. Georgia 6-1- It’s called an offense. It is usually necessary to win games in Baton Rouge. Just a suggestion.

10. Ohio State 7-1- Don’t be surprised if the key to the game against Penn State is the defensive line. Get pressure and stop the run. Terrelle Pryor will make some plays and he will also make some mistakes that the Nittany Lions will turn into points. If the Buckeyes can do the same, the speed of PSU becomes more and more obsolete. Wow, no jokes.

11. LSU 5-1- Les Miles just signed the ref from the South Carolina game to use his last season of eligibility as his Middle Linebacker to blitz Matt Stafford.

12. Utah 8-0- Brian Johnson will be the next Utah quarterback to break numerous records in College only to go to the NFL and be quickly reduced to a backup role while enjoying his ridiculous contract sitting on the bench.

13. South Florida 6-1- $10 says that there were more fans present for the Syracuse game in Tampa than there will be at both Game 1 and 2 combined of the world series. Go Bulls!

14. Missouri 5-2- I don’t want to use the word, “exposed”. “Humbled”? Maybe. How about “reality?”

15. Boise State 6-0- They will go undefeated and win the WAC. Death and taxes.

16. TCU 7-1- Frogs let the world know that they were for real after completing shutting down the Fighting Mormons on national television. They also showed all potential recruits that, yep, they’re still purple.

17. Pittsburgh 5-1- I would really pump it up for the Panthers because I love the team attitude of being a “lunch pail” team but ESPN’s Mark May has a man-crush on Dave Wannstedt that is starting to become more annoying than listening to Lou Holtz validate Notre Dame.

18. Kansas 5-2- Gas for drive to Norman, OK: $100. Ticket to game against Oklahoma: $60. The look on Coach Mangino’s face in the second half when he realized reality had set in: Priceless. You’re welcome, MasterCard.

19. Georgia Tech 6-1- Apparently, the triple option can work in a major conference. Wait, this is the ACC…apparently the triple option can work in a conference that is a hair better than the Pac 10.

20. Boston College 5-1- I love that Eagles fans are excited about the fact that QB Chris Crane is more of a running threat than Matt Ryan ever was. Yeah, and Peyton Manning is more of a running threat than Tom Brady. Call me when Crane breaks a 5.0 40.

21. Tulsa 7-0- It has been confirmed that a “Golden Hurricane” is not a simply a massive wind blowing urine. However, it is also not a specialty drink sold to you by someone in suspenders wearing “flair.” The jury is still out. You figure it out? Give us a call.

22. Florida State 5-1- In case you didn’t know, Bobby Bowden wins and has been doing so for 33 years.

23. Minnesota 6-1- This is a team who won one game last season. One! I’m not sure I want to live in a world where Tim Brewster doesn’t win Coach of the Year. I said Good Day!

24. Ball State 7-0- There are just so many jokes it hurts my face.

25. BYU 6-1- See Missouri.

As requested, here are the Top 4 GP Heisman picks so far:

Graham Harrell- Texas Tech
Sam Bradford- Oklahoma
Colt McCoy- Texas
Tim Tebow- Florida

Auburn at West Virginia
Boston College at North Carolina
Oklahoma State at Texas
Georgia at LSU
Virginia Tech at Florida State
Texas Tech at Kansas
Penn State at Ohio State



The Grayson Publication is copyrighted and may not be distributed for profit unless otherwise authorized by ownership.

GP.2008.8

The Renegade College Football Newsletter

On the West Coast, the “Game of the Year” was starting at 9am so yours truly was up at 6:30 for a shower, two cups of coffee, and Corso cursing during GameDay. I was actually praying that Will Muschamp would see him put the Sooner Schooner on his head and the charge him like rabid bull in heat. A talk with Jake about the importance of our speed on defense and underpants at 8:30 followed by a cocktail to settle the nerves at 8:45 (didn’t work) and I was ready to challenge the entire OU band to a fistfight by kickoff.

Mack Brown stated earlier in the week that we really didn’t know anything about this team until this game. That being said, we learned a ton:

Colt McCoy (Mustang McClanahan as my wife so lovingly calls him) has balls the size of watermelons and is more than earning the Heisman hype. Jordan Shipley is the fastest white boy since Steve Tasker and Quan Cosby could catch a cannonball shot from fourteen feet away with a hand tied behind his back holding an angry chicken.

We also learned that Will Muschamp can take an inexperienced defensive unit and turn them into a championship caliber squad that attacks like the opposing offense is the beachfront at Normandy. Phil Loadholt was holding Brian Orakpo like he was a box full of Krispy Kremes and Rak STILL ended up with two sacks. Roddrick Muckelroy showed that he truly is the best linebacker we’ve had since a certain Derrick Johnson angrily roamed the 40 acres, and Sergio Kindle makes every tackle like he looks forward to visiting his opponent in the ICU later in the evening. Sam Bradford is still trying to get the cleat marks of his back and those haunting voices out of his head. Take note, Chase Daniel.

In summary, this team played like the best team in the country while LOOKING like the best team in the country. In the beauty contest that is the polls, we were Giselle Bundchen walking the runway covered in melted cheddar. We even get GameDay for the second week in a row. Hook ‘Em!

Clemson’s mid-season firing, sorry, “forced resignation” of Tommy Bowden came as a surprise to no one considering how highly regarded the Tigers were to start the season and how miserable they have looked since Alabama. It’s been like a horror film with no ending over these last few years. Think about the feeling you got when walking out of the theatre after viewing the third installment of “Scream.” “Seriously (insert girlfriend’s name), if you make me see one more of these…” A number of names have already surfaced as options for the job. Namely, Bobby Johnson (graduated from Clemson), Steve Spurrier (will never happen), Skip Holtz (Really?), and Will Muschamp (Don’t even freaking think about it!) top the list. We at GP would like to submit our own option. How about Dennis Franchione? Perfect fit. He is a short-sighted recruiter who knows how to lie to get 5-star players, is familiar with how the game is played in the South, is coming directly from a school whose city is populated completely by backwards thinking conservative fundamentalists (College Station is way worse, trust me), and will keep up the douche bag factor at your head coaching position. Ah, we’re just kidding. Hire Bobby Johnson and get it over with already. Go Tigers!

Can’t say I have ever been more pleased to write a top 25!!!!!!!!!!

1. Texas 6-0- It feels amazing. It really does. The defense is slaughtering expectations and I only yelled at Greg Davis four times throughout the entire game on Saturday. This is a significant improvement from his average of 20 times a game from last season. Look out, nation. Greg Davis found creativity in big games. He shall name it, Major, and will no longer be afraid to use it.

2. Penn State 7-0- There are people who have watched this team and honestly believe that they won’t win the Big Ten. These people have an illness known as Crazy- usually found in females who live in or near Hollywood or people living anywhere where temperatures fall below 35 degrees.

3. Alabama 6-0- The Tide have an honest chance of running the table with the only real threat left being a trip to Baton Rouge. The Tide have exploded in games that are supposed to be close and have played poorly in games that they should win easily. Thus, the road to perfection isn’t exactly paved gold with Ole Miss, Tennessee and Auburn.

4. Oklahoma 5-1- Take nothing away from the Sooners. Sam Bradford is amazing and he guides an offense that shouldn’t lose another game the rest of the way regardless of a pass defense with more holes than an O.J. Simpson alibi.

5. Texas Tech 6-0- OT? Against Nebraska? Let me guess: Harrell had one of his usual in-game conniption fits when his offense couldn’t drive up and down the field with reckless abandon. His personal self-destruction resulted in his entire offense struggling through the second half and a closer game than any of us would have bet on. Yeah, too easy.

6. USC 4-1- When your quarterback plays like he left his brain in his locker behind the Old Spice, it helps to have an NFL caliber defense and an opponent who practically turned into a mid-level Mountain West team.

7. Oklahoma State 6-0- Dude, thanks for ruining the possibility of a #1 vs. #2 match-up this week. You all but ruined our ESPN GameDay celebration and you pissed of Kirk Herbstreit. Herby likes his top ranked match-ups and Herby does not forget.

8. BYU 6-0- For the first time this season, the Cougars will be playing against a real defense when they play TCU. This means that they are going to call their “serious” plays and wear their “big boy” uniforms. How fun.

9. Florida 5-1- I know, I know. I should have them higher than this and I will, trust me. I am just still pissed that they could annihilate an impressive force like LSU yet lose to a team coached by Houston Nutt. It makes as much sense as the Bailout Plan or not having cheerleaders at Texas A&M.

10. Georgia 5-1- Most overrated 5-1 team in the country. Hate to say it.

11. Utah 7-0- Most overrated undefeated team in the country. I really feel no remorse for that statement.

12. Ohio State 6-1- The Bucks have a better O-Line and a deadly D-line that will bottle up Javon Ringer and reestablish the Buckeye championship possibilities that have been blemished since that day in Los Angeles that everyone in Columbus has tried desperately to forget.

13. Missouri 5-1- There is no question that this weekend is Chase Daniel’s opportunity to prove that he shouldn’t have been overlooked by the Texas coaches in favor of Colt McCoy. All 5’8” (including faux hawk) of him. The Gnome of Columbus will put his points on the board but the bottom-line will be whether or not the Tiger D can put a stop to what is a lethal Longhorn O.

14. LSU 4-1- 51-21 is what one might refer to as reality.

15. Virginia Tech 5-1- All I keep hearing are talking heads on College Football shows discussing how they don’t have any offense. They’ve NEVER had an offense and it has never mattered.

16. Boise State 5-0- Winning the WAC is like being the smartest kid on the short bus. Acknowledgement of your accomplishment is a pizza party at Chuck E Cheese and personalized coloring books.

17. North Carolina 5-1- The Tar Heels haven’t beaten Virginia in Charlottesville in 13 straight tries. Good news: UVA is obscenely horrible this year. They lost to Duke. Duke! In football.

18. Kansas 5-1- That pissed off mob awaiting you in that God forsaken town in Oklahoma? Those are Sooners after an unexpected loss to Texas. This will not be pretty.

19. South Florida 5-1- Still holding on to Big East title hopes like it's Linus' blanket.

20. Wake Forest 4-1- Deacons are staying impressive in a very unimpressive conference. Enough so that voters are still paying attention to them and are willing to admit that they are a decent football team. See how that works?

21. Michigan State 6-1- Nobody, not even Mark Dantonio, believes that this team is playing this well. Somehow, in the age of passing the ball until your quarterback’s arm falls off, Sparty is running the football and winning.

22. Pittsburgh 4-1- Dave Wannstedt is still popping the crazy pills in Steeltown where “poetry is about Percocet and pecan logs.” As much as this town is insane about the Steelers, Davie’s got 65,000 showing up at Heinz field.

23. Vanderbilt 5-1- This top 25 appearance MIGHT last as long as Pacman Jones’ appearance in the defensive backfield in Dallas before his next suspension. Whup. No, Vandy lasted longer.

24. Ball State 7-0- Yeah, I really don’t know how to explain this either. They’re a MAC team with MAC opponents. What do you want me to say?

25. California 4-1- It was the Bears or Tulsa in this slot and you just have to believe that in a death match between the two, a Golden Bear would take down a Golden Hurricane. This is, of course, assuming that a Golden Hurricane is some kind of special drink sold at the Tulsa T.G.I. Friday’s and not a wreckless spiraling wind laced in urine.

As requested, here are the Top 5 GP Heisman picks so far:
Chase Daniel- Missouri
Sam Bradford- Oklahoma
Colt McCoy- Texas
Javon Ringer- Michigan State
Graham Harrell- Texas Tech

BYU at TCU
Virginia Tech at Boston College
Vanderbilt at Georgia
Ohio State at Michigan State
Missouri at Texas
Kansas at Oklahoma
LSU at South Carolina



The Grayson Publication is copyrighted and may not be distributed for profit unless otherwise authorized by ownership.

GP.2008.7

The Renegade College Football Newsletter

The messages and emails have been pouring in asking us to discuss the BCS and expose it for what it is. Can’t do it. Not yet anyway. Look, I am not going to defend the BCS and the illegitimate BS that it is based on (seriously, what the hell is a Sagarin rating?)…but right now, it is serving it’s purpose: weeding out teams like an 8 am math class during freshman year. There are solid arguments on both sides but know this…

The Grayson Publication has been working on and will be presenting it’s own Playoff Scenario to the NCAA. We will consider everything: Incorporation of the Bowls, Ad dollars (apparently this is where money comes from), time away from school for the athletes (you know, the subject that the NCAA says is the biggest issue concerning a playoff scenario when in reality it’s all about the dollar bills ya’ll), who all would be invited, the BCS’ involvement, and the always essential dress code for Jake purposes.

We will post it the week before we submit the draft so you may bask in our incredible detail and GENIUS idea. Yeah, we’re pretty humble about the whole thing. Now to business…

Texas/Oklahoma is the greatest college football rivalry. Biased? Absolutely. Without due diligence? Of course not. For those who have never experienced the weekend, you cannot understand the party, the Fair, and the HATE. Until you have had a Fletcher’s corn dog at 10 in the morning sided with a beer and a black eye from the fight the night before at the West End, you just don’t get it. This day at the Texas State Fair is like no other. There are no usual fair goers surveying the fried food vendors and peering in at the car shows. Instead, it’s two huge gangs circling each other and glaring at one another, hearts pregnant with angst, and surrounded by carnival games. It’s the Jets and the Sharks minus the snapping and extra tight jeans. (Yeah, that was a West Side Story reference. Sorry, but my wife reads this and I have to keep her interested in some way) Florida and Georgia have their cocktail party. Notre Dame and USC have their patty cake match, and Auburn and Alabama have the Iron Bowl. We have our shootout. We call it that because about 70% of the crowd is probably armed and at any given moment might be tempted to go ahead and exercise the 2nd Amendment. The cocktails are a given but no other rivalry has as much probability of gun play. Well, maybe Army/Navy but when was the last time that game had National Championship implications?

We split the tickets from one fifty yard line to the other. We get one end zone, they get the other. Crimson red on one end and Burnt Orange on the other. The Pride of Oklahoma with their ridiculous drum major who you just want to throw a rock at and laugh as he shutters unconsciously to the ground… and the “Showband of the Southwest”-so big they can spell Texas across the field. It’s loud, it’s violent, and is in no way civil. You have friends in Oklahoma? Not on the second Saturday in October. You don’t mind the color red? On that day, it nearly makes you vomit on your boots. I was introduced to the game at birth but started attending in 1988 when my dad took me to my first Tx/OuSux game. It was on that day that I came to realize what all Longhorns know: A&M is a rivalry. OU is WAR. “Put the women and children to bed and go lookin’ for dinner.”

Oh yeah, LSU and Florida also play this week. Top 25!


1. Oklahoma 5-0- It’s 9:45 pm PST and OU STILL SUCKS! Had to. Look, this is the first season in almost a decade where both fan bases have every right to be excited, nervous, and damn near delusional so please forgive all alumni this week if they seem a little distant or testy at work. Our minds are in a different place, ok?

2. Missouri 5-0- When your quarterback is a 5’9” and bearded version of the Stay Puff Marshmallow man with a rocket arm, your need for defense is minimal. Here’s the problem for the rest of the conference- they found a D.

3. Penn State 6-0- Spread HD is rolling through the Big Ten like an SEC team in a National Championship game (Hello Buckeye fans!). The Lions get a down Wisconsin team this week who is prepared to lose their second straight game at home for the first time since Reagan was in office.

4. Texas 5-0- The comparisons to Brett Favre for Colt McCoy are both warranted and a little scary. Let’s not throw inadvertent interceptions in big games or attempt to force a 99 mph fastball between three defenders off your back foot, please. First sign of a Wrangler commercial or five ‘o clock shadow as a new “look” for Colt and we will have problems. I’m not sure if it’s Brett but the kid is channeling something.

5. LSU 4-0- Ricky, you don’t inform the opposing quarterback that your initiative is to take him out of the game the week before the game. Don’t go all Pacman on us. That’s like telling the hot girl at the bar that your plan is to have sex with her that night before buying her that first Appletini. You just do it, apologize for your less than classy actions the following morning and be on your way. You shall receive one of the first copies of my upcoming book: “Where are my pants? The Jake Edwards Story” It shall be you mantra.

6. Alabama 6-0- You have to think that just like every other SEC team, it will be impossible to make it through the season without at least one loss especially when you have an overrated quarterback whose name immediately makes you think of the theme song from “Deliverance.”

7. Texas Tech 5-0- Poor Nebraska. One week, it’s Missouri and the next week it’s this: A liquored-up head coach with a pirate fixation who allows his offense to practically draw plays in the sand so that they can just pile on the points. Scoring in the 50’s? Try closer to 70.

8. BYU 5-0- Max Hall is actually a legitimate Heisman contender and this team WILL end up in a BCS game. No, no joke this time. I am serious.

9. Georgia 4-1- The Dawgs had the week off to spend dwelling on a loss that, at the end of the year, probably won’t even matter. Regardless, it doesn’t take an historian to recognize that Mark Richt’s teams don’t react well to losses and there is also revenge involved. Take the Dawgs. Take ‘em BIG.

10. USC 3-1- Peter Carroll has a new goal for the year: Beat the living crap out of every team left on the schedule. Oregon State pissed off the Hulk and the rest of the conference gets to feel his wrath.

11. Florida 4-1- The Gators will get speed on speed. Great coaching on great coaching. Drunk idiot fans on drunk idiot…you get the picture. It’s a great rivalry in the best conference and in one of the greatest stadiums in the country. At night, it doesn’t get better than the SEC.

12. Utah 6-0- I am going to catch hell for this but the Utes should be 5-1 after last Thursday night’s robbing of Oregon State. For those who didn’t see, Utah got a second shot at a two point conversion close to the end of the game due to a BS pass interference call. When a ball is thrown behind a receiver by five yards and he turns around only to run into the DB who is chasing him, that is called a horrible pass not interference. Thanks to some home cookin’ in Salt Lake, Utah is still on the map in the Top 25.

13. Ohio State 5-1- I thought the crazy addiction to the Bucks ended after SC. Then this Pryor kid comes along. Seriously though, when he learns to throw under pressure and make smart decisions when he is really forced to, call me.

14. Virginia Tech 5-1- Am I the only seeing that Va Tech is playing AND beating quality opponents. How the hell are the Hokies ranked so close to the end of the poll? Do you really want to anger Frank Beamer’s second head that rests under his chin? No, really, not to be rude but what is that thing?

15. Vanderbilt 5-0- Their parents are rich, they have lead privileged lives, and somewhere along the way they figured out how to play the game. Vandy is the Gossip Girl of the Top 25 sans a-holes in blazers who are sleeping with Cougars and malicious females who don’t even understand the dialogue they’re given to read.

16. Boise State 4-0- What would the Top 25 be without the Broncos?

17. Oklahoma State 5-0- This was going great until this week. Headed into Missouri, they’re like the prized cow who is continuously given all the extra hay until one afternoon when she is lead, ever so slowly, to that place at the end of the farm where no cow ever seems to come back from. I HAVE to stop watching 3 am reruns of “Little House on the Prairie.”

18. South Florida 5-1- Without adversity, there would be no celebration in victory. There is no question in my mind that this team still wins the Big East and Jim Leavitt gets shot, once again, to the top of the list of wanted coaches. You think he might take the shot this time or continue to grind it out in Tampa?

19. Kansas 4-1- That was Iowa State we were watching you play on Saturday, correct? That was not Nebraska, Oklahoma State, or any other decent Big XII opponent. No need to worry. Fat Man will chalk it up to getting hosed due to BCS implications and will claim that Coach Chizik swapped his wind jacket with a size XXXL instead of XXXXL thus restricting blood flow to his brain and causing idiotic play calling.

20. North Carolina 4-1- I love watching Notre Dame get crushed especially by a team that, by Notre Dame’s standards, has no business being on the same field. Davis has the folks in Chapel Hill actually discussing football in October rather than UNC/Duke. What a concept.

21. Wake Forest 3-1- Neither Kirk “I have the best job on the planet” Herbstreit or I can figure out what clicked the light bulb on for Jim Grobe at Wake. This is a program that had a tradition of barely beating the SMUs and Dukes of the world before two years ago. Whatever it is, it is working and we are actually seriously discussing the Deacons as a potential conference champion on a yearly basis.

22. Auburn 4-2- Ah, the SEC. You hire a top notch Offensive Coordinator who simply can’t get things going in the first six games and you throw him out on his head. Do you think the administration in Auburn stopped to consider that maybe Tony Franklin’s players at Troy State simply grasped the spread offense quicker and executed better? No, noooo, couldn’t be possible. Noooo.

23. Pittsburgh 4-1- I’ll give him this: Nobody cares more about Pitt football than Dave Wannstedt. Nobody. Seriously though, Dave, enough with the “Pitt of old” references. You can’t bring back Mark May to play the line and there is no chance in hell that those players are going to put on those ridiculous yellow helmets and royal blue jerseys.

24. Michigan State 5-1- I’m just tired of these guys not getting the respect they deserve. Sparty is playing like Gerard Butler and his merry men from “300” and living up to the nickname. Granted, they’re actually wearing clothes, are not in slow motion, and don’t have a mind-melting voiceover to accompany their triumph. Thank God.

25. Ball State 6-0- Oh look, a MAC team.

As requested, here are the Top 5 GP Heisman picks so far:

Chase Daniel- Missouri
Sam Bradford- Oklahoma
Colt McCoy- Texas
Max Hall- BYU
Graham Harrell- Texas Tech

Clemson at Wake Forest
Oklahoma State at Missouri
LSU at Florida
Tennessee at Georgia
Penn State at Wisconsin
Michigan State at Northwestern
TX/OU



The Grayson Publication is copyrighted and may not be distributed for profit unless otherwise authorized by ownership.

GP.2008.6

The Renegade College Football Newsletter

27-21: I have never felt so good about being wrong in my life. As I watched the dismantling of the Men of Troy last Thursday night, my thoughts did not turn to running a retraction the next morning for our mistaken prediction or sending an apology to all of the SC fans who so devotedly read these pages and comment or start debate or revel in their simple, victorious existence. Instead I basked in my being wrong. I praised myself for such an awful prediction and rewarded my own idiocy with foreign chocolates and red wine from the rarest grapes. Yes, the King is dead.

The descriptions have all been the same as to how Oregon State was able to neglect their sheep herding for a night to beat SC in Corvallis. Time and time again we have heard that they were simply Beat! While I tend to agree that U$C was dominated in virtually every facet of the game (stings, doesn’t it?), too much has been taken away from the coaching effort on the side of the Beavers. Mike Riley and his staff were more brilliant than a Guinness with a cheeseburger and fries.

Note to self: New victory dinner- Ice Cold Guinness coupled with cheeseburger and fries. Second note: Why on earth have I not thought about this before?

For those who watched the game and weren’t blinded by their own Cardinal red sweater vests donning a gold SC symbol, you must have noticed OSU’s focus on using the Trojan’s speed against them and the focus on confusing the hell out of Mark Sanchez. On offense, the plan was to use the running game to force the defense in one direction and then have the backs change gears to use cutback lanes for yards. It worked to a “T”. The defense just decided to blitz everyone including the drum major and cheerleaders to create pressure and force bad decisions from Sanchez. Before Carroll and co. realized that this game wasn’t just going to be another moonwalk to the beat of “Men of Troy,” the Beavers had done their damage and the “greatness” of SC had been exposed for what it is every year: A complete figment of our imagination created by LA biased writers and Pete Carroll punch drinkers at ESPN. Well, who has two thumbs and will think more than twice about believing the hype again? This guy.

Yes, it was only the beginning of upset weekend but don’t try to argue that it wasn’t the biggest of all. Ole Miss over Florida was huge but paled in comparison and we all had that sneaking sensation that East Carolina was simply a mule in a horse harness (I don’t even know what that means but we’re going with it). Thus, we had to reorg the Top 25 like my wife does the closet after the purchase of a new pair of Manolos (expensive shoes, fellas). Below is that result. TOP 25!

1. Oklahoma 4-0- It pains me greatly to put them here. I took 45 minutes to try and reason Alabama or Penn State at #1 but couldn’t live with questioning my own integrity as a College Football fan. It is the last topic I actually have integrity in. This Sooner team might be the best that Stoops has ever had. I won’t say it again and now, I gotta go throw up. When did I have chicken nuggets?

2. Alabama 5-0- Have I had a little too much of the $50 “herbal” tea that I brought back from that summer trip to the Orient or did Nick Saban really do this in two seasons? Georgia barely belonged on the same field as the Tide and that is why they sit at #2 and might be #1 before season’s end.

3. Penn State 5-0- At 104 years old, Joe Paterno and his staff can still flat-out RECRUIT! This is the only team in the Big Ten with enough speed and defense to contend in the SEC or Big XII. Translation: Here is your conference champion. Hello BCS.

4. Texas 4-0- As goes Colt, so goes the offense…and team for that matter. The leadership being displayed on a weekly basis reminds every Orange blood of a certain Opie-like QB who once donned #11 or a certain #10 who epitomized a National Championship juggernaut. Oh yeah, and the defense is in the Top 10. Scared yet?

5. Missouri 4-0- Tigers haven’t won in Lincoln since 1978 when my Dad was still in College pretending that it was coke in the can he was drinking on the steps of the dorm while campus security remained curious as to why he kept sleeping there. Here’s to ending a 30 year drought and 268 years of no potato famine.

6. LSU 4-0- The only student body in the country that consumes more bourbon than my alma mater. No, it has nothing to do with football but it is worth pointing out. On second thought, for the folks in Baton Rouge, it has everything to do with football.

7. Texas Tech 4-0- Between 5 hour research sessions focused on Red Beard and the true meaning of the word, “Scallywag,” Mike Leach apparently reviewed “defense” in the English Dictionary and felt that it might be useful in the upcoming Big XII schedule. Good news. Good news.

8. BYU 4-0- Notice how no one really cares at this point and continues to talk about November 22nd. Don’t expect that to change unless you are reading here. We still care. Just not that much more.

9. South Florida 5-0- Are we doing Jekyll or Hyde this week? The bookies would like to know and so would my checking account.

10. Georgia 4-1- The fingerprints on the side of your cheek are the remainder of that giant SEC wake up call you experienced last Saturday. No Continental breakfast, no coffee maker in the room, and Nick Saban stole the last large towel. Bastard.

11. Florida 3-1- See the Georgia comments but take into account that Ole Miss is nowhere to be seen in the Top 25 and Houston Nutt is three fries short of a Happy Meal. Embarrassing is a good word.

12. USC 2-1- I think we covered this in the opening comments. Sending a message to the conference? Message received: Rose Bowl is as wide open as Andy Dick’s love life. Oh, poor effort GP. Just plain poor.

13. Utah 5-0- Again, nobody is really paying attention until November so keep up the blowout games for the poll voters.

14. Ohio State 4-1- Still overrated along with the rest of your conference, your running game and your defense. Sad but True. Thanks Metallica.

15. Auburn 4-1- How annoying is it that Vanderbilt is actually a game worth worrying about? Kind of like when your little brother finally approached your height and weight in high school and began to try and hit on the same girls. There comes a time when you must put the lesser class in place. War Eagle.

16. Kansas 3-1- Todd Reesing: First Quarterback to legitimately worry that a poor performance could result in being eaten by his head coach. Literally. With barbecue sauce. Side of mashed potatoes.

17. Virginia Tech 4-1- I can’t understand why the Hokies are getting written off as a non-competitor. Frank Beamer has had less than 10 wins twice since 2000. Twice.

18. Boise State 3-0- Should be pointed out that by the time any of you read this, the Broncos will be 4-0 after having completely annihilated Louisiana Tech. This will be followed by the La Tech players being forced to eat raw potatoes while wearing 1980s wedding dresses. Silly schools and their traditions.

19. Vanderbilt 4-0- The rest of the conference players can’t even spell Vanderbilt much less comprehend the complexity of the notion that the Commodores are in the Top 25. I know: “Comprehend” and “notion” are words that momma wouldn’t let you use in the house. That’s why you go to school in Gainesville and are on athletic scholarship.

20. Oklahoma State 4-0- Just like every season since his hire, Coach Gundy has them believing heading into Big XII play. He’s a man! He’s 40!

21. Wisconsin 3-1- Michigan!?! Michigan?!? All I did was defend you. You and your not-scary mascot with Marithe Francois Gerbaudt pants. Michigan!?!

22. Connecticut 5-0- This is not a joke. Their football team, like the basketball team, is actually a Division I competitor. Yes, the Women’s basketball team still averages more fans per game.

23. Oregon 4-1- Don’t be fooled. The Ducks still have every necessary element to pull off a Pac 10 championship. The offense is putting up BYU numbers and has shown no need for a running back. It helps when your running backs are like having Curlin, Secretariat, and a bulldozer in your backfield.

24. Wake Forest 3-1- Hate to break out the “Dad” tone but we don’t lose to Service academies in the big boy conferences, m-kay? You want some ice cream? Then will you think about what you have done? M-kay, one scoop only. You get two when you can prove that you are one of the big boys again.

25. Fresno State 3-1- They’re like the rash that Jake got after a weekend in Nueva Laredo, Mexico in ’02. They just won’t go away. However, I strongly doubt that they smell like roasted garlic when exposed to sun.


As requested, here are the Top 5 GP Heisman picks so far:

Chase Daniel- Missouri
Sam Bradford- Oklahoma
Colt McCoy- Texas
Max Hall- BYU
Graham Harrell- Texas Tech

Oregon at USC
Ohio State at Wisconsin
Connecticut at North Carolina
Auburn at Vanderbilt
Illinois at Michigan
Texas at Colorado
Florida State at Miami
Arizona State at California




The Grayson Publication is copyrighted and may not be distributed for profit unless otherwise authorized by ownership.