GP.2008.9

The Renegade College Football Newsletter

In the first play from scrimmage, when Roy “Eleven layer Lasagna” Miller blew up the Mizzou reverse, two things became quite evident: Missouri felt so out of their league that they were prepared to throw the kitchen sink at the Horns AND Will Muschamp said something during pre-game that really pissed off the D. After that, it was all up to Colt. So far this season, that meant it was all over but the crying for the Tigers.

The Amazing McCoy was just that…absolutely FREAKING AMAZING! Heisman front-runner? Yeah, I think so. Going 29 of 32 for over 300 yards and two touchdowns certainly won’t damage the possibility of some hardware come late December.

The key is keeping it up. No, not in that way, Jake so stop nodding your head in agreement. The funny thing about us Texas fans is that we can’t even accept the success. We’re scared to death every time the Horns take the field, worried that this is the week. This is the week the turnovers go the other way, the week that Colt tries to make too many plays and throws four picks, the week Mack Brown is caught at the Landing Strip with a hooker name Cassina. So far, this “deathly frightened” approach has been working wonders so we are going to stick with it.

I have to say that I couldn’t be happier with the recent vacating of the USC bandwagon. Outside of Herbstreit and Corso, very few people have emphatically disagreed with SC’s disappearance from the BCS Top 5 and for good reason. No, the computers did not eat a tray full of pot brownies before configuring this as has been suggested. It is more simple than that: They LOST to an unranked team! Look, I realize that your Trojans being dismissed from the nation’s elite, albeit for one week, is like watching your own kid get cut from the Jr. Varsity baseball team but let’s be adults about this. Pointing to the big victory over Ohio State will not help your case considering the sudden re-rise of the Buckeye hype is completely without warrant unless they beat Penn State. Plus, there is no way that ESPN, Fox (and every major sports authority who is rummaging through Pete Carroll’s trash can and leaving him love letters sealed with lipstick) will allow the SC demise to happen. Soon, this will all be over and we will be ignoring the Beaver loss like we did the Stanford loss from last season.


Hollow Coconut!! Every season, we at the Grayson Publication choose to not only recognize the best teams in college football but also the worst. We choose a team at season’s end to be given the Hollow Coconut Award. The award is made and then presented to that team’s Head Coach. We are already down to three midway through the season:

Washington Huskies
Washington State Cougars
North Texas Mean Green

Good luck to all!


Quick Note: Petros Papadakis is BY FAR, the WORST college football commentator ever. Yes, ever. Listening to this jackass call Pac 10 games is like trying to solve math problems after 5 cocktails. It’s painful, useless, and honestly just plain stupid. He makes Brent Musberger enjoyable if that is even possible. I bet Keith Jackson throws up every time he hears this guy open his mouth. Now, your Top 25!

1. Texas 7-0- This team is playing with more emotion and fire than any Texas team I have ever seen. One might believe that they have to considering the lack of “Star Players” that exist on the roster outside of Colt and Brian “I just might kill you” Orakpo.. I might argue that the game is simply supposed to be played this way. Offensive execution and controlled violence on D.

2. Penn State 8-0- I am going with the Lions here over the Tide for a couple of reasons. One: PSU might be the most balanced team in the country with the ability to run and throw OR be made one dimensional and still hurt you. Secondly, JoePa and I share a passion for the Luby’s fried catfish meal with okra. Granted, he goes for the red jello while I always go with orange. To each his own.

3. Alabama 7-0- The Tide seem to have a hard time coping with the fact that they have to convince us of their greatness. Blowing a 20 point lead to Ole Miss in the second half really isn’t the best way to do it. I realize that the Rebels are a team that knocked off the Gators in the swamp but Florida wasn’t dominating an entire game only to give up mid-way through the third quarter thinking the game was over.

4. Florida 5-1- What? You thought Urban Meyer was going to let a conference loss to an unranked team keep him out of the top 5? Who do you think he is, Pete Carroll? Just kidding, Trojan fans! Put away your switchblades. We’re not on campus.

5. Oklahoma 6-1- The Texas hangover finally wore off at halftime against Kansas when the Sooners realized that they were in danger of actually losing to a basketball school with a chicken for a mascot.

6. USC 5-1- 69-0 against Wazzu? Did they pull Sanchez after the first quarter? Seriously, my mom could start at quarterback for the Cougars. Of course, she’s 6’1’’ 220 and runs the 40 in 4.5.- Dazed and Confused reference. You’re welcome, Andy Lee.

7. Oklahoma State 7-0- Honestly, the most balanced team in the Big XII and a true threat for the Horns this weekend. Zac Robinson is having a phenomenal year and as is always the case in Stillwater, the Pokes have a big play receiver and a physical defense that mixes up blitz packages to confuse the opposing quarterback. Sound like a team we know?

8. Texas Tech 7-0- There wasn’t a football fan in Texas who thought twice about Mike Leach’s decision to call timeout to review what was going to be a meaningless touchdown at the end of the rout against the Aggies. When the review proved that Tech didn’t score, he went ahead and punched it in anyway. Hilarious. Poor Aggies.

9. Georgia 6-1- It’s called an offense. It is usually necessary to win games in Baton Rouge. Just a suggestion.

10. Ohio State 7-1- Don’t be surprised if the key to the game against Penn State is the defensive line. Get pressure and stop the run. Terrelle Pryor will make some plays and he will also make some mistakes that the Nittany Lions will turn into points. If the Buckeyes can do the same, the speed of PSU becomes more and more obsolete. Wow, no jokes.

11. LSU 5-1- Les Miles just signed the ref from the South Carolina game to use his last season of eligibility as his Middle Linebacker to blitz Matt Stafford.

12. Utah 8-0- Brian Johnson will be the next Utah quarterback to break numerous records in College only to go to the NFL and be quickly reduced to a backup role while enjoying his ridiculous contract sitting on the bench.

13. South Florida 6-1- $10 says that there were more fans present for the Syracuse game in Tampa than there will be at both Game 1 and 2 combined of the world series. Go Bulls!

14. Missouri 5-2- I don’t want to use the word, “exposed”. “Humbled”? Maybe. How about “reality?”

15. Boise State 6-0- They will go undefeated and win the WAC. Death and taxes.

16. TCU 7-1- Frogs let the world know that they were for real after completing shutting down the Fighting Mormons on national television. They also showed all potential recruits that, yep, they’re still purple.

17. Pittsburgh 5-1- I would really pump it up for the Panthers because I love the team attitude of being a “lunch pail” team but ESPN’s Mark May has a man-crush on Dave Wannstedt that is starting to become more annoying than listening to Lou Holtz validate Notre Dame.

18. Kansas 5-2- Gas for drive to Norman, OK: $100. Ticket to game against Oklahoma: $60. The look on Coach Mangino’s face in the second half when he realized reality had set in: Priceless. You’re welcome, MasterCard.

19. Georgia Tech 6-1- Apparently, the triple option can work in a major conference. Wait, this is the ACC…apparently the triple option can work in a conference that is a hair better than the Pac 10.

20. Boston College 5-1- I love that Eagles fans are excited about the fact that QB Chris Crane is more of a running threat than Matt Ryan ever was. Yeah, and Peyton Manning is more of a running threat than Tom Brady. Call me when Crane breaks a 5.0 40.

21. Tulsa 7-0- It has been confirmed that a “Golden Hurricane” is not a simply a massive wind blowing urine. However, it is also not a specialty drink sold to you by someone in suspenders wearing “flair.” The jury is still out. You figure it out? Give us a call.

22. Florida State 5-1- In case you didn’t know, Bobby Bowden wins and has been doing so for 33 years.

23. Minnesota 6-1- This is a team who won one game last season. One! I’m not sure I want to live in a world where Tim Brewster doesn’t win Coach of the Year. I said Good Day!

24. Ball State 7-0- There are just so many jokes it hurts my face.

25. BYU 6-1- See Missouri.

As requested, here are the Top 4 GP Heisman picks so far:

Graham Harrell- Texas Tech
Sam Bradford- Oklahoma
Colt McCoy- Texas
Tim Tebow- Florida

Auburn at West Virginia
Boston College at North Carolina
Oklahoma State at Texas
Georgia at LSU
Virginia Tech at Florida State
Texas Tech at Kansas
Penn State at Ohio State



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